Day 8 - Who stole my day?

Cor, where has today gone!  It's almost bedtime and I don't feel like I've sat down, so, today is very brief.

Food:
Cookies & Cream shake
Chicken Soup
Dark chocolate truffa bar (old smaller size)
Cheesy pasta with swede cubes and wafer thin chicken
661 calories

Oh, and I lost 11.5lb in week one.  Wicked :)

Day 7 - a day of nervous pondering

Been a stressful funny sort of day.  Had a couple of tough work things to do today, but thought them through in advance with the benefit of my new small amount of knowledge of nlp, and whilst they were still pretty tough, I feel like I handled them a great deal better than I have done before.  However, I need to note that stress and a subsequent focus on the job in hand means I forgot to eat! It was gone half 11 when I got to wondering why I felt a bit wobbly - then I realised I'd not had anything!  Oops, that's not so great.

As a consequence I've felt a bit wobbly all day, probably more psychological than physical, but I succumbed to a little cheese when I got home.  Pleased I did this in a measured way - 35g and straight on the food planner :).  Tomorrow morning is weigh in - eek!  I really want to beat my week 1 from last year (I know, I'm repeating myself!) - it means a lot.

I am able now to recognise that I need to take my time to make decisions, and I'll reach the end of that process when I'm good and ready.  Had a weird thing happen today, it might be a marketing scam, if it is, then it's a darn good one - on a day I really needed something just like this - I got an email telling me somebody loves me, and wants me to follow an online adventure for 5 days before revealing who they are!  Intriguing to say the least.  Perhaps it's just because of where I am today, on another given day perhaps I would have marked it straight as spam.  Who can say, today it made me smile, and there's nothing wrong with smiling more :)

Evening update to log food - what an amazing couple of hours I've just had!  Something really very exciting indeed may be happening to assist my weight loss journey.  Can't say much just now but I am uber excited about it!  Guess the day wasn't so bad after all, I feel like I've been sprinkled with glitter :).

So, todays food:
Vanilla Shake (is this all starting to sound very familiar yet...)
Chicken soup
Cheesy pasta with swede cubes
Strawberry shake
35g cheddar
723 calories

I should just add - I have an awful lot of products in my cupboard, mainly bought when I was planning to maintain so I bought lots of the same of my favs - I've told myself I'll do a month on these before I go buying any more, so it's going to be a very boring list for a little while longer I'm afraid.

Day 6 - All is well with the world

I spent most of yesterday doing my studying, sent off an assignment for my weight consultancy course, and caught up on some much needed work on the NLP course I've signed up to.  I wonder if it's going to be the key.  I'm only on the introduction to NLP, have yet to start the practitioners course and it's fabulous, it makes so much sense and has so many practical applications in all area's of life.  I read a little quote the other day that fits well with the NLP - always seek to be a little bit kinder than is necessary.  The thing that struck me yesterday about the NLP is about how we view others - in a nutshell our brains get bombarded with so much information that it's impossible to process everything, so in order to "see" another person (as in what you think of them) - you have to have that particular "thing" in you in order to recognise it.  Makes sense to me and is perhaps a good time to reflect on why I think bad of some others sometimes - ok, quite often I guess - and that's me owning that information (another part of NLP!).

So, how does this apply to following a vlcd?  I think it does in many ways so far, and probably many more to come as I continue my study.  Not least of which is how I've previously reacted to my perception of other peoples posts - maybe we are too similar and can see those not so nice things reflected from ourselves and seek to be (naturally) defensive of our own position... anyhow, another old quote comes into play here "if you don't have anything nice to say... etc" - all food for thought if you'll pardon the pun.  NLP talks about responsibility and excuses - do you have things done to you or do you do things.  It made me really realise, and I say really realise as I already know this, but before it feels as though I recognised the package it came in, but now I've opened it up to see exactly what is inside - that I, and only I am responsible for making the decisions about what goes in my mouth and in how great a quantity.

Which is great news!  Because I am therefore 100% able to make all future decisions about what goes in my mouth.  Will I offend someone if I don't accept their piece of cake?  It's unlikely, but if they are, then do I really want to be accepting a piece of cake from someone who is so easily offended?  Another quote - and one of my absolute favourites - "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission" - Eleanor Roosevelt.  That says so much, and I think now that I really know what that means.  My decisions are made by me.

And so, back to the vlcd.  I only realised this evening when I got home that today I've not had any coke zero, not only that, I didn't even think about it, not only that, I even went to the shop for a bottle of water and didn't even think about it.  Go me!

I think we actually might be making some decent progress.  I think I should give myself a little smile :)

And then...... after a really great day does a wacking great mackerel come and smack you right across the face, just when you were least expecting it.  Nothing diet related, a personal thing, but it's entirely possible it was a terminal mackerel and it's also entirely possible that I'm ok with that too.  Of course I may still be more than a little bit annoyed/let down/disappointed/really very angry... we'll see, some time is required here at the very least I think.

Todays food -

Vanilla shake
Chicken soup
Cheesy pasta with swede cubes and leek
Cookies and cream shake
591 calories.

Day 5 - Sunday - Danger Point!

I planned for today to be over on calories, I planned to have more food today.  I did this because Sundays have proved to be my downfall.  I'm usually on my own after dropping Andrew off to go home in the morning, so maybe it's boredom or cause I'm a bit down or just because I'm greedy and I'm looking for an excuse.  Being on my own can't really be the issue, cause I'm on my own Monday to Thursday til her turns up again on Friday evenings.  Guess I'm just a greedy pig.

Anyhow, to break this and take charge, I decided today could be extra calories, or at least extra volume of lower calories, but within the carb limit, and not too far over calories cause I'm doing great so far.  So this is how it went... Breakfast was an oatmeal pack, all fine and dandy.  Then I had a notion to have swede cubes with a processed cheese slice melted over the top of them.  It was ok, nothing to get excited about, and to be absolutely truthful, a waste of calories!

Decided tea would be swede cubes again (they are my saviour veg!) with leeks - did them both together in the actifry, gave pretty good results.  Then a 70g pack of honey roast ham and 45g of grated cheddar.  All this with a cheesy pasta pack.  It was too much.  Way too much.  But, as a lesson to learn, I ate it all, and felt bloated and sick and bleugh.

So, it's not far from 9pm, I've had 2 packs and all that other guff and have had 592 calories.  I will have a shake in a mo too - so that'll be taking me over 700 for today.

In comparison to my "regular" days intake - tiny.  On a VLCD - a waste of way too many calories that could have been had on something nicer.

2 more full days to go then it's week one weigh in.  My aim right now - to do better than I did on my very first week ever on a VLCD - so I need 11.5lb to top that - BIG ask!

Only day 4?

A strange thing has happened, I was absolutely sure I had started back on 100% on Tuesday, so today is a decent way through the week, my progress downwards on the scales (I know, I know, one obsession at a time!) is pleasing. Then I logged yesterday's packs on mfp and was looking back over the week so far - only to find nothing logged for Tuesday - a check on here, and indeed, I only started Wednesday - wow! I even told Andrew last night I'd been on since Tuesday, perhaps I have keto brain! I was shocking him by telling him his pizza last night contained 2 full days of calories for me on this plan.

I am focused and motivated and on it.  Long may it continue!

Cookies and cream shake

Cottage pie

Cheesy pasta with 200g of diced swede/mushroom/leeks and 30g grated mozzarella 

576 calories :)

Day 3 - Early start to a long day

A funny thing has happened.  I looked in the fridge this morning as I was getting my water out and thought that I should throw away the eggs and bacon in there (from last weekends low carbing).  I had planned for this weekend to also be low carb rather than vlcd but this morning I don't want to do that.  This is cracking - three days of thinking like this!  It's right back at the beginning once again and long may it last.

Without wishing to pre-empt anything, as this is only day 3 after all - a sneaky peak on the scales would suggest ketosis has arrived and I know I've dumped an awful lot of water.  As much as I am really trying not to be judged by my scales, it still seems that their approval is still very much needed in my life.

Seems I've wooshed into the zone, need to tie myself down right here to make sure I don't just woosh straight back out again.  Things to keep me here - 224 days to holiday! Lol, I'm more than a little excited about it, normally we book really close to going, so there isn't that anticipation and build up, and even though we know we are going in, say, July, it's not the same as having the flights and everything already booked.  Next year we're being joined by friends - so far 6 of us, maybe more to come.  Can't wait!  And for that - I am NOT going to feel like I'm busting out of my beachwear! I intend to hit my target ready for Christmas, which gives me 6 months to work on the fitness and toning (and to allow for a couple of months where I'll just be sitting on my bottom if I get to have this op).  Ooh!  We have a plan coming together!

Caramel shake 

Chicken soup

Mushroom pasta with diced swede and mushrooms

New raspberry shake

Total calories 578

:)

Day 2 - Hyperdrive already!

Ah wonderful - blogger is working again.  Could only manage the title earlier on and nothing else.  Probably a darn good thing as it would have been a very long one with that old hyperdrive thing going on I think.  Anyhow, we're at the end of day 2, I still have a pack to go, I feel like I've had loads as I did extra swede cubes this evening (forgot the weight is very different raw to cooked, yesterday I weighed 200g raw weight, so today I just finished the packet!).

I'm still as excited as I was yesterday, so that's two full days on the trot of feeling as determined as I did right back at the beginning.  I want to bottle it and rub it all over me again if it starts to waiver.  I did even have a thought tonight that it would be so much easier just to eat whatever it is I want to eat, but this is about so much more than just my weight and what I look like.  It's also about what I feel like - physically - and I feel so much better with a low level of carbs.  I'm really struggling with my gynae stuff at the moment (seeing the consultant in a little under 3 weeks) and pretty sure I have adhesions interfering with my sciatic nerve.  The pain down my left leg goes through to my ankle on some days and at best is mightily uncomfortable.  It's a whole lot worse when I eat bread, so it's plain and simple really isn't it?

I've started up a countdown to Christmas weight loss challenge at work.  I was asked to do it by a few people, and it's a great focus and good practice for me to get back to my studies that I've been neglecting since my holiday.  It makes me very proud to be able to give dieting advice to others, and when I stop to consider that a year ago I was so big, it really means a great deal that others look to me to seek that advice.  It's a huge buzz and a privilege.

So, todays food - no imagination here - same as yesterday but with an extra 13 calories of swede!!

Actually... think I'll do a cold shake before bed rather than a hot chocolate today, ring the changes and all that...

Cookies & Cream Shake x 2
Chicken soup
Cheesy pasta & swede cubes
610 calories :)

Day 1 - Second time around

Been messing about for long enough, in keto, out of keto, in keto, out of keto.  Been a stressful time all around with the rest of my life and I've allowed it once again to become the focus rather than accepting that life will always bring stress, and really it's the reaction to that stress that could probably be worked on.  Tried half heartedly to follow different things over the summer, but had an epiphany last night, lots of things fell into place and it just seemed the right time to get on with it.  I fully intend to have reached my target and followed the re-feed before Christmas is upon us.  What's different I don't quite know, other than to say that it feels different, it feels like the focus I had just over a year ago when I started this journey.

Some things I need to accept, and this has been difficult.  I am considerably lighter than I was a year ago, and considerably smaller.  I have a way to go, but it's not a great big huge long way to go.  I am comfortable in 5 sizes smaller than I was.  That is some achievement.  I need to acknowledge that and allow myself to be proud of how far I've come.  It's really hard to do so, cause my head doesn't feel a bit of difference to when I was at my biggest.  Weird that, I can see the difference, it's so much its entirely obvious, but I can't feel the difference.  Wonder if I ever will.  Perhaps I just need to accept where I'm at and get on with the rest!

I'm scared to death that tomorrow I'll not be bothered again, but then again I owe this present to myself and it's not one I can ask anyone else for.  I need somewhere to log my daily intake after tracking, to make me somewhat accountable for that.  So, sorry, little bit different from before, there will be a list of packs each day, and perhaps nothing more on some days, but we'll see how it goes.  I've weighed in this morning, and may weigh in each week, not sure yet, the weight thing isn't all that important - it's how I look and how my clothes fit me that means so much more - so the task here is to get into a pair of jeans and be able to sit comfortably in them.

Todays packs:

Vanilla shake
Chicken soup
Cheesy pasta (with 200g diced swede)
Chocolate shake

Total of 586 calories :)